Excuse me, I forgot my toast.

Restaurant X (must remain anonymous!) specializes in breakfast, so weekend mornings are our busiest days; families who have just gone to church, young people waking up after a rough night out, and couples radiant with that special post-morning-sex-glow (or glowering from lack thereof) flow in and out of the restaurant in a steady stream from about 9:30 to 3:00. I work Saturday mornings and a double on Sundays, and after the two morning rushes, it is nice to relax a little on Sunday nights.

Last Sunday, my section was one of our two patios. During the morning, I was slammed; everyone wanted to sit outside because of the nice weather, and my wallet was very happy. Around 4:00, business began to dwindle as most of the remaining late-lunchers paid their bills and left. A pleasant couple who had been drinking champagne and munching on bruschetta bid me a good day and exited the patio, leaving me with just one one-top to watch, a cute young woman reading a book and sipping wine while waiting for her salad. I thought I was in for a typical, uneventful Sunday evening.

I waited near the kitchen for my one-top's salad, and ran it out to her as soon as it was ready. When I got outside, there was a man wearing a green button-down shirt and khaki pants leaning over the patio fence. He appeared to be reaching for the table where the friendly couple had dined. It hadn't been bussed yet, and a basket with one piece of wheat toast remained on the table. I shot him a "wtf-are-you-doing" look, and he gave me a sheepish grin.

Green Shirt Guy: Excuse me, I just ate here and forgot about my toast! Can you please hand it to me over the fence?

Waitress X: I'm sorry sir, but I cannot give you the toast since you did NOT eat at this table; this is my section and you definitely weren't here.

Green Shirt Guy: But I'm hungry!

(I give him an evil stare).

Waitress X: Sir, I can't serve you food left over from someone else. You are welcome to come in and place a to-go order; toast is $1.79.

Green Shirt Guy: Yeah... I guess you would get in trouble if you gave that to me.

What the FUCK!? I don't know what this guy's situation was, but he was clean-shaven and dressed pretty nicely, so I am guessing he wasn't homeless or anything. Why in the world did he think he could just reach over and take food from the patio? I felt bad for the guy, but I wasn't about to risk my job over a piece of toast!

On the bright side, my cute one-top was totally listening to the exchange, and she left me a great tip!